By BrunchManiac
Fun! My slorch predicted someone would break out the marg glasses on Thursday. The next thing I know, I'm reaching for the sour mix, and WHAM it hits me – it's Thursday. "Someone" was actually me! No one could have known that about me. NO ONE!

   By moodyfeeder17
My whisperer was just wearing a ratty bathrobe and one slipper. We sat at a table facing each other in complete silence, and it made me very uncomfortable. A good 15 minutes passed before I realized she was dead. Yuck. I checked the lobby but it was empty. With no one on duty to assist, I did the only thing I could think of – I dragged her body to a nearby church and propped her against the door with $150 and a note saying I was sorry tucked into her robe. I just felt like everything went wrong. I heard from a friend that she actually wasn’t dead, just sleeping. I guess I was too busy trying to cope that I missed that part.

   By ~AsLongAsWeAreTogether~
When my whisperer asked “who is the massive bitch?”, I almost fell off my seat! My daughter is a massive bitch! It was just what I wanted to hear. Some of the information was so uplifting and inspiring that I went straight home and rummaged through her stuff while she was at work.

   By gaspeppers
Pritch Milktear is the real deal! I didn’t tell him anything but he instantly knew I was dying for Italian ribs and crab cakes. The energy in the room was off, so for $200 he showed me a shortcut to an astral realm where I could connect with an interdimensional rib monger. As for the crab cakes, he said my loved ones wanted me to stay away from them. I’m glad I did!

   By stilllookin4lyfe
Wow, I really needed this. We are a family of 11 and my husband is a full-blown asshole. I visited Slorch Whisper to hang out with dead people in another dimension and so on. When I crossed over, the spirits took me to an authentic nacho market, and we spent the evening laughing and smoking cigars on a beautiful terrace. I had a great time and someone even called me by my name – something that has not happened to me in a long time.

   By MaintenanceCreature
The wife and I went for a “getaway” date. Immediately upon opening the door, we were caught by vampires and robbed. FUCK THAT. Save your money.

   By prettycommonwino
This was my first slorch whisper. To be honest, the angel cream was cheap. There was a wasp nest above me, and the whole time I felt like it was going to fall down. Couldn’t relax.

   By patio2kool365
I’m so amazed by what my slorch revealed. I discovered that my dear wife, who vanished 12 minutes ago, is chained up in the women's locker room at Big Fitness Goblin. It was sad news, but when my whisperer said he was sensing the presence of a mocha iced coffee, I was blown away and had a crying fit. Mocha iced coffee was her favorite. Knowing that she’s chained up somewhere and not off with another man is truly comforting and I can finally move on. Thank you.

   By 7H1NK1N_V3G4N
Deena Brownies is AMAZING! Her presence was so nurturing and I instantly felt comfortable, like she had known me for years. She handed me a droopy-looking baby in a clay pot – I don’t want to go into too much detail – told me to “watch”, and stepped out to give me some privacy. It seemed a little strange, but the baby definitely had an old soul, so I gave it a shot. After 20 minutes of intense baby-staring, Deena returned and it was clear that she had simply gone on a cigarette break. It was still worth it though – I think my mom's spirit was connecting through that droopy baby. Such a tremendous sense of peace getting drooled on.

   By AngelCramps
Our slorch whisper was so spot on. Hearing that my grandma is a dog made a huge impact on my husband. He said he always “felt” that she was a dog, and this authenticated it. I never would have made the connection. Absolutely astounding.

   By WuzResp0nsible
Why does this place smell like chicken and frankincense? And not BBQ or fried. Like, raw chicken.

   By SoupyPuppyLyfe
I never thought connecting with my deceased loved ones would be so easy. Now they won’t leave. They smell very bad. Someone help.

   By WarmBlahBlahBlah59
There was just a rag over the window and apparently anyone on the road could see my silhouette as I received my slorch whisper. I was so embarrassed when I found out.

   By PrisonSpicy
As soon as my slorch began, I immediately felt like my family was blown away by a storm. Then I realized all of their chairs were empty and the back wall was torn open. So grateful. It really validated all the things I’m facing right now, like Corvette problems.

   By  ´•..•´¯`•..•´mistyflipflops•._.•´¯•.¸¸.•´
Stopped in for a girls night. We had a cubby that went out to the bathroom, and I loved it because I was able to walk straight from the cubby into the bathroom and back to the cubby. Loved it.